4 Reasons To Hate Fred Phelps And The Westboro Baptist Church

By Chad Anthony on March 25, 2014

Pastor Fred Phelps founded the Topeka, Kansas, Westboro Baptist Church in 1955. The establishment still exists as a Primitive – Old School – Baptist Church. Individuals within this religious sect stick to the Bible as their end-all-be-all text that warns against all sin – fornication, [divorce and remarriage] adultery, and sodomy.

John Calvin can be thanked for writing the WBC playbook, outlined in his 5 points of Calvinism: Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace and Perseverance of the Saints. The Westboro Baptist Church states that all other churches do not teach what the Bible proclaims and therefore are an embodiment of the devil. You know, those teachings of “God loves everyone” and “Jesus died for everyone.” All of that word vomit. Instead, the WBC preaches of God’s Old Testament-style omnipotent, psychotic, bipolar murderer as their One-and-Only.

There’s a very small silver lining though. Those who care about their never-dying soul should read every word of GodHatesFags in addition to the Bible. Don’t you want to join, now? For me, that seems like a lot of reading, and a lot of hate. The entire Bible? That’ll be a hard no for me.

Image from Freethoughtblogs.com

Thank the heavens that crazy bastard Fred Phelps is dead. And no sane person will miss him.

Yes, this is an extremely harsh approach to an individual’s passing.  But before you oust me as a high-functioning sociopath, allow me to help.

1. WBC openly protests funerals of national heroes
Taking a stand against a rightfully fallen soldier holds no credibility. That hero of an individual willingly trained and marched into combat, head held high, knowing full well that his or her life could be lost at any moment. I commend these individuals for placing themselves purposefully in harm’s way.  But not everyone sees these soldiers this way. The people from Westboro Baptist protest the funerals of the fallen. Because fighting for your country goes against the teachings of a man who fought for his belief to be followed.

2. Being gay is so not Old School Baptist
Aside from totally trolling on soldier’s funerals, Westboro Baptist Church doesn’t take kindly to individuals of same-sex liking. Similar to other close-minded trolls, WBC takes to Twitter to shame themselves into the dark chasms of society’s hatred.

Image from Twitter.com

Same-sex marriages do not in any way adversely affect global events. Dudes making out with one another probably won’t cause your fatal heart attack, unless you’re Fred Phelps strapped down to a bed in the middle of a gay porno.

Image from Twitter.com

Not only is Obama not from America, but he’s also the Anti-Christ! How could the people of America hire this guy as the leader of our country for two whole terms? I mean, WBC can’t be wrong about this too, right? Unsurprisingly, they are! I don’t remember this paint scheme on the White House during any of the President’s speeches for the Ukraine and Egypt crises. At least those psychotics in Topeka know how to operate Photoshop.

3. Every disaster is our fault
There are two different kinds of God in the bible. New Testament God loved everyone and never struck down a soul in anger. He allowed Lazarus to come back to life. When people weren’t hammered enough, Jesus turned water into wine. He brushed his shoulders off as he walked on water. Jesus also knew his way around hardwood. Old Testament God turned people into pillars of salt if he found out they committed sodomy. To punish everyone for all the horrid acts committed against his will, Old Testament told one other guy – Noah – to gather his family and every animal on earth onto a massive boat. God then told Russel Crowe Noah of a massive flood that would kill everyone in its wake. That’s the God WBC worships. Willingly.

Image from Pbs.twimg.com

4. Westboro Baptist Church doesn’t like good music
Young the Giant positions itself nicely in the eclectic indie-rock genre of music. Their sophomore album Mind Over Matter allowed the group to find their voice while simultaneously becoming apathetic. Staying on the eclectic path, this past year Lorde came out of nowhere with her single “Royals.” She dominated the charts week after week, solidifying her presence in the indie music realm. At the 53rd Grammy Awards, Lorde won Best Pop Solo Performance and Song of the Year for “Royals” while being nominated for Album of the Year.

These two artists hold one common enemy in common – the Westboro Baptist Church. The religious organization detests these Indie marques because of their alliance with the gay community. On March 19th, Young the Giant played in Kansas City with WBC in full signage. In response to the protests, the Giant’s donated merchandise sales to The Ally Coalition, an organization that works in the entertainment, music, and fashion businesses to raise awareness of the LGBTQ community. Lorde fans provided a counter protest to the WBC propaganda stating, “Live Your Life and Be Awesome” and “Sorry for your loss” (an attempted humanitarian hand of grace).

Westboro Baptist is one hardcore representation of old world naivete combined with a healthy dose of technologically driven blasphemy. They preach enough hate to make the Al Qaeda say, “What’s their problem?” Thank Allah their ex-leader is dead; now if only the rest of WBC can finally join the modern progressive mindset, maybe the nation could be in a better place.

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